重點 (Top highlight)

I can play a video game for just an hour these days and then stop. I have no problem asserting control over my gaming because I have more important obligations.

這些天 我 只能玩一個小時的視頻游戲，然后停下來。 堅持控制我的游戲沒有問題，因為我有更重要的義務(wù)。

However, it wasn’t always this way. When I was in late elementary school to middle school, I struggled with a gaming addiction — to MapleStory, specifically. I would play almost eight hours a day on weekdays, and weekends could mainly more than 12 hours per day. During summers, MapleStory was all I did while my parents worked and largely left me alone.

但是，并非總是這樣。 當(dāng)我從小學(xué)晚期到中學(xué)時，我對游戲成癮感到掙扎-特別是對MapleStory的迷戀 。 我在工作日每天要玩大約8個小時，而周末每天最多可以玩12個小時以上。 暑假期間， MapleStory是我父母工作時所做的一切，并很大程度上讓我獨自一人。

I had no control over my gaming.

我無法控制自己的游戲。

A couple of times, I stole my parents’ credit card to pay for in-game currency called NX in the game. On another occasion, I begged my mom to drive me to Target, the only store that sold NX in MapleStory. The Target ran out of NX cards, and I pouted and whined and got into a major argument with my mom as I scapegoated her for not taking me there earlier. She then gave in to my demands and then drove me to another target to buy the $25 card.

有幾次，我偷了父母的信用卡，用于支付游戲中稱為NX的游戲內(nèi)貨幣。 在另一個場合，我懇求媽媽開車送我到Target，這是MapleStory中唯一一家銷售NX的商店。 目標(biāo)用完了NX卡，我po著嘴，發(fā)牢騷，并與我媽媽發(fā)生了重大爭執(zhí)，因為我替她her了她不早帶我去的機會。 然后，她屈服了我的要求，然后驅(qū)車前往另一個目標(biāo)，購買了25美元的卡。

My addiction to MapleStory brought out the absolute worst in me. Already a whiny child, I became a flat-out demon to my parents when they attempted to take the computer away. I got mad at anyone else who spent more than an hour at the computer. I distanced myself from my friends in real life all for the game.

我對MapleStory的迷戀使我感到最糟糕。 我已經(jīng)是個小孩子了，當(dāng)我的父母試圖把電腦拿走時，我成了父母的惡魔。 我對在計算機上花費一個多小時的其他人感到生氣。 在游戲中，我與現(xiàn)實中的朋友們保持了距離。

You know it’s terrible when maintenance for the game, which only lasted two or three hours, was a significant source of distress in my life.

您知道，僅持續(xù)兩三個小時的游戲維護是我一生中最大的困擾。

While I played MapleStory, in part, to get over a hectic home life, my parents worked a lot and got home late. I was virtually unsupervised by anyone but my brother, and let’s be real: my brother liked video games too. He had no interest in being my babysitter.

在玩MapleStory的過程中，部分是為了度過忙碌的家庭生活，而我的父母辛勤工作了很晚才回家。 除了哥哥以外，我?guī)缀醪皇苋魏伪O(jiān)督，讓我們成為現(xiàn)實：哥哥也喜歡視頻游戲。 他沒有興趣當(dāng)我的保姆。

The game meant a lot to me. It was the only source of stability in my life in a time I had none. When my parents were home, they got into screaming matches. They had gotten divorced when I was eight, and were in this strange arrangement due to financial constraints where they still lived together. It was hard for me as a kid, and it’s hard for me to talk about it as an adult. I’m withholding significant information about how bad it was because of the possible repercussions for my family.

這場比賽對我意義重大。 那是 唯一的穩(wěn)定源 一生中我一無所有。 我父母在家時，他們參加了尖叫比賽。 他們八歲時就離婚了，由于經(jīng)濟拮據(jù)，他們?nèi)匀蛔≡谝黄?#xff0c;處于這種奇怪的安排。 小時候?qū)ξ襾碚f很難，成年時也很難談?wù)摗?由于可能對我的家人造成影響，我暫不提供有關(guān)情況有多嚴(yán)重的重要信息。

My parents weren’t big on capital punishment. They learned that it didn’t work for them with my older brother. However, one of the only times I remember one of my parents hit me was when I would not stop playing MapleStory one day in fourth grade. I had homework to do, and I was just glued to the monitor of my old eMachines desktop the whole weekend, and I acted like I was doing my homework whenever my parents came out of their room. But they were not fools.

我的父母對死刑沒什么大不了的。 他們了解到，對我的哥哥來說，這對他們不起作用。 但是，我記得我的父母中唯一一次打過我的次數(shù)是，當(dāng)我四年級的一天沒有停止玩《楓之谷》時。 我有作業(yè)要做，整個周末我都被粘在舊的eMachines臺式機的顯示器上，每當(dāng)父母離開房間時，我的行為就像在做作業(yè)。 但是他們不是傻瓜。

My brother played a lot of video games too — his favorite was World of Warcraft. He spent days in Internet cafes playing the game and got to the max level in the game. But he wasn’t obsessed like I was — he had a social life and friends. I had, well, MapleStory. Some days, I would wake up at 2 a.m. to play MapleStory and have an easier time getting into quests. I’d later fall asleep in almost all of my classes.

我的兄弟也玩過很多電子游戲-他最喜歡的是魔獸世界。 他花了幾天時間在網(wǎng)吧玩游戲，并達到了游戲的最高水準(zhǔn)。 但是他并沒有像我那樣迷戀-他有社交生活和朋友。 我有《 楓之谷》 。 有時候，我會在凌晨2點醒來玩MapleStory，并有更輕松的時間完成任務(wù)。 后來我?guī)缀踉谒邪嗉壎妓恕?

MapleStory provided me with a distraction to fill a huge void in my life — and as an MMORPG, MapleStory gave me friends too and social life. Of course, I never met any of these friends in real life, but I grinded with them to gain experience points, and I did party quests with them.

MapleStory使我分心，填補了我生活中的巨大空白-作為MMORPG， MapleStory也給了我朋友和社交生活。 當(dāng)然，我在現(xiàn)實生活中從未見過這些朋友中的任何一個，但是我和他們一起磨練以獲取經(jīng)驗值，并且我與他們進行了聚會任務(wù)。

For Maplers who know, I got to level 122 as a fire/poison mage before the Big Bang patch. It doesn’t sound like a big deal to Maplers today, but it was a huge deal at the time.

對于知道的Maplers，我在Big Bang修補程序之前達到了122級的火/毒法師。 對于Maplers來說，今天聽起來不算什么大事，但在當(dāng)時卻是一筆不小的數(shù)目。

But that’s jargon for another day. When MapleStory was down on maintenance, I watched YouTube videos about MapleStory. I went on forums that allowed you to trade items. I invested in scrolls that gave me high attack weapons and gloves and spent a lot of real-life money on the game (again, stealing my parents’ credit card).

但這又是行話。 當(dāng)MapleStory停止維護時，我觀看了有關(guān)MapleStory的 YouTube視頻。 我參加了允許您交易物品的論壇。 我投資了給我?guī)砀吖袅ξ淦骱褪痔椎木磔S，并在游戲上花了很多現(xiàn)實的錢(再次偷了父母的信用卡)。

Anyway, MapleStory not only drained whole evenings and whole days. It drained entire summers. Time would pass by extremely fast when I was playing MapleStory. I tried even to quit the game a couple of times, but I would always come back, and then play for six to seven hours on weekdays, and 12 hours on weekends. I would criticize other players who weren’t as active as me, especially if they were in my guild.

無論如何， MapleStory不僅耗費了整個晚上和整天。 整個夏天都干ed了。 當(dāng)我玩MapleStory時，時間將會流逝。 我什至嘗試退出游戲兩次，但我總是回來，然后在工作日玩六至七個小時，在周末玩十二小時。 我會批評其他不如我活躍的球員，尤其是當(dāng)他們進入我的公會時。

I had a couple of close friends in Maple who I interacted with all the time. It was where I learned emojis like XD and acronyms like “l(fā)mao,” “l(fā)ol,” and “rofl,” after all. I had three close friends in a guild I created, and we would play legitimately all the time. One of those friends was Nancy, who was college-aged and married, and I was online friends with her husband (although we weren’t as close). At the time, I was 12.

我在楓樹有幾個親密的朋友，我一直與之互動。 畢竟，我在那里學(xué)習(xí)了XD等表情符號和“ lmao”，“ lol”和“ rofl”等縮寫。 我在一個公會中有三個密友，我們會一直合法地比賽。 其中的一位朋友是南希，她已經(jīng)上大學(xué)并且已婚，我和她的丈夫是在線朋友(盡管我們之間的關(guān)系不那么密切)。 當(dāng)時我12歲。

If the stolen credit cards weren’t bad enough, my grades would suffer. It wasn’t horrible, and I thought I could rely on my natural intelligence at the time to get through middle school. I did alright, but I didn’t study or perform to my potential because I was so addicted to MapleStory.

如果被盜的信用卡還不夠糟糕，我的成績就會受到影響。 這并不可怕，我認(rèn)為我當(dāng)時可以依靠自己的自然才智來讀中學(xué)。 我沒事，但是我沒有學(xué)習(xí)或發(fā)揮自己的潛能，因為我對MapleStory如此上癮。

How did I recover from it? Well, I did through sheer luck, or I don’t know where my life would have gone. I scroll through Reddit threads occasionally about how MapleStory ruined people’s lives, and I count my graces to God — after all, it could have been me if I never stopped. I must have logged tens of thousands of hours, but I stopped.

我如何從中恢復(fù)？ 好吧，我是靠運氣做的，或者我不知道我的生活會去哪里。 我偶爾瀏覽Reddit主題中有關(guān)MapleStory如何破壞人們生活的信息 ，并且我向上帝算是我的恩寵-畢竟，如果我永不止步，那可能就是我。 我必須記錄了數(shù)萬小時，但我停了下來。

One reason is that I got hacked. Well, hacked is a generous term of describing it — I was just a fool. Someone in my guild said they could get me hundreds of millions of mesos (MapleStory currency) and unlimited NX. 11-year-old me thought it was possible, so I gave him my account information. I didn’t get that account back. As a result, I took a bit of a hiatus because I was so angry at myself for being such an idiot.

原因之一是我被黑了。 好吧，hacked是描述它的一個寬泛術(shù)語-我只是一個傻瓜。 我行會中的某人說，他們可以讓我獲得數(shù)億個mesos( MapleStory貨幣)和無限的NX。 11歲的我認(rèn)為這是可能的，所以我給了他我的帳戶信息。 我沒有收回該帳戶。 結(jié)果，我有點猶豫，因為我對自己這么傻瓜很生氣。

In another instance, I also gave my friend, Chris, the information to my account in elementary school. I started to lash out at him in class and the playground to give my account back after he changed the password. I couldn’t control my temper, and I threatened to beat him up a couple of times. He denied that it ever happened. Tensions between us got so heated that our classmates reported my behavior to the guidance counselor, and I was called in to settle things with Chris. It didn’t work.

在另一種情況下，我還把我的朋友克里斯(Chris)的信息提供給了我在小學(xué)的帳戶。 在他更改密碼后，我開始在教室和操場上向他猛烈抨擊，以將我的帳戶還給我。 我無法控制自己的脾氣，并且威脅要毆打他幾次。 他否認(rèn)曾經(jīng)發(fā)生過。 我們之間的緊張局勢變得如此緊張，以致于我們的同學(xué)向指導(dǎo)顧問報告了我的行為，并叫我與克里斯達成和解。 沒用

When I was at level 122, I used my parents’ PayPal information to pay $5 for NX, obviously without them knowing. My dad canceled the charge and reported it as a fraud. The next day, my account was suspended until the purchase went through, and I wasn’t going to have that conversation with my dad about how I stole his PayPal information.

當(dāng)我的水平為122時，我使用父母的PayPal信息為NX支付了5美元，這顯然是他們不知道的。 我父親取消了指控并將其報告為欺詐。 第二天，我的帳戶被暫停，直到購買交易通過為止，我也不會和父親進行關(guān)于我如何竊取他的PayPal信息的對話。

I simply wasn’t in control of my life: MapleStory was.

我根本無法控制自己的生活： MapleStory是。

To this day, it is MapleStory that reminds me I’m an addict. It was my first addiction, but I can become obsessively fixated and lose control just as easily over my work, over my athletic accomplishments.

直到今天， MapleStory提醒我我是一個癮君子。 這是我的第一個上癮，但是我會變得迷戀不解，失去對工作和運動成績的控制。

To people who don’t think gaming addiction is serious, the WHO, in 2018, declared “gaming disorder” a diagnosable condition under three conditions:

對于不認(rèn)為游戲成癮很嚴(yán)重的人，世衛(wèi)組織在2018年宣布在以下三種情況下可診斷為 “游戲障礙”：

• It’s a pattern of behavior for at least 12 months where gaming is out of control.
  這是至少12個月游戲無法控制的行為模式。
• The behavior pattern has to show an “increased priority given to gaming,” and gaming has to take precedence over different interests and activities.
  行為模式必須顯示“給予游戲的優(yōu)先級增加”，并且游戲必須優(yōu)先于不同的興趣和活動。
• There has to be behavior that affects someone’s relationships, education, or occupation
  必須有會影響某人的人際關(guān)系，教育或職業(yè)的行為

Photo by SCREEN POST on Unsplash.圖片由SCREEN POST 攝于Unsplash上 。

Ultimately, gaming controlled my life and showed me that I have to be careful because I will always be an addict. There are times where I lose control again — at the beginning of the pandemic, I played Civilization a couple of days for 10 hours on end, neglecting all my daily tasks and obligations at work and home.

最終，游戲控制了我的生活，并向我表明了我必須小心，因為我永遠(yuǎn)會上癮。 有時候我會再次失去控制力。在大流行開始時，我連續(xù)幾天玩了《 文明》 ，持續(xù)了10個小時，卻忽略了我在工作和家庭中的所有日常任務(wù)和義務(wù)。

I have greater self-control than I did when I was 12. But the feeling that I need to play “just one more turn” or “just one more quest” is something I felt in MapleStory that I need to catch myself doing.

與12歲時相比，我的自我控制能力更強。但是，我需要在MapleStory中感覺自己需要“再轉(zhuǎn)一圈”或“再完成一個任務(wù)”，這是我需要抓緊自己做的事情。

I am working on myself in a lot of ways. I’ve been actively pursuing going back to therapy and my confronting some childhood trauma. I’ve matured, but I always have to be careful that I don’t fall into the same gaming traps that I used to.

我在很多方面都在為自己工作。 我一直在積極尋求恢復(fù)治療的機會，并面臨著童年時期的一些創(chuàng)傷。 我已經(jīng)成熟了，但是我總是要小心，不要陷入以前的游戲陷阱。

翻譯自: https://medium.com/super-jump/recovering-from-my-gaming-addiction-f87f66a823bf

總結(jié)

以上是生活随笔為你收集整理的从我的游戏成瘾中恢复的全部內(nèi)容，希望文章能夠幫你解決所遇到的問題。

如果覺得生活随笔網(wǎng)站內(nèi)容還不錯，歡迎將生活随笔推薦給好友。