Coursera 斯坦福大学科学论文写作课程笔记(一)
課程名稱:Writing in the Sciences
課程地址:https://www.coursera.org/learn/sciwrite/home/welcome
所屬學(xué)校:Stanford University
Unit 1
1.1: Introduction; principles of effective writing
what makes good writing?
what makes good writer?
steps to becoming a better writer:
- Read,pay attention,and imitate。首先要廣泛地閱讀,這里的閱讀不局限于科學(xué)文獻(xiàn),也可以是小說,雜志,專著等。然后找出他們的技巧,并試著去模仿。
- write in a journal。熟能生巧,多寫多練。如果時間比較少,可以試著在清晨或者晚上寫寫日記。
- let go of academic writing habits。忘掉過去的學(xué)術(shù)寫作的壞習(xí)慣。
- talk about your research before trying to write about it。在寫作前多于別人交流討論。
- stop waiting for inspiration。不要等到靈感到來時再開始寫作。不要給自己的拖延找借口。
- accept that writing is hard for everyone。我們需要接受寫作對于任何人說都很難的觀點(diǎn)。
- revise. nobody gets it perfect on the first try。注意修改的作用,好文章是改出來的。對于初學(xué)者來說,快速完成初稿,然后重點(diǎn)花時間放在修改上。
- learn how to cut ruthlessly. never become too attached to your words。刪減自己寫的東西是很困難的,但是必須要學(xué)會不要太過于執(zhí)著自己寫的內(nèi)容。
- find a good editor! 找到一個靠譜的同行幫助評審你的文章。
- take risks。大步向前,在文章中嘗試引入有意思的東西!
1.2: Examples of what not to do
本節(jié)課要傳達(dá)的一個觀點(diǎn)是:即使是復(fù)雜的專業(yè)的科學(xué)寫作也并不意味著一定要用復(fù)雜的辭藻和語法,即使是簡單的語言,也可以傳達(dá)復(fù)雜和專業(yè)的想法。如果我們這樣做,科學(xué)寫作會更容易。要時刻注意寫作的目的是將容易理解和愉快的知識傳遞給讀者。并且能夠引起讀者的關(guān)注和共識。
-
Complex ideas dont require complex language
-
scientific writing should be easy and enjoyable to read!
科學(xué)寫作的一個標(biāo)志是將動詞變名詞,例如下例。因?yàn)閯釉~是驅(qū)動句子的,而名詞會拖慢句子。所以過多的名詞會導(dǎo)致閱讀起來不流暢。
將句子中的名詞改為動詞,并做一定的刪減之后,讀起來更加流暢:
1.3: Overview, principles of effective writing
下面是第二個難以讀懂的段落的例子,第一個問題是使用名詞而不是動詞來表達(dá):
第二個問題使用了一些含糊不清的單詞,這些單詞使得讀者費(fèi)解,沒有起到任何實(shí)質(zhì)性的作用:
第三個問題是使用了不必要的術(shù)語和不準(zhǔn)確的縮寫。因此建議少用縮略語,除非那些人盡皆知的。
第四個問題是作者使用了被動語態(tài),因?yàn)楸粍诱Z態(tài)很難讀,并且不是我們口語表達(dá)的方式。
第五個問題是使用了主動語態(tài),但是主動詞卻非常靠后,使得讀者難以讀懂:
經(jīng)過修改之后的段落變?yōu)?#xff1a;
這里總結(jié)有效寫作原則的概述:
- cut unnecessary words and phrases,learn to part with your words。減少冗余字?jǐn)?shù),去掉不必要的詞組和單詞,以減少混亂。
- use the active voice (subject + verb + object)。使用主動語態(tài)。
- write with verbs:using strong verbs,avoid turning verb into nouns,and dont bury the main verb!我們要避免把動詞變?yōu)槊~,并且不要把主動詞隱藏起來。
1.4: Cut the clutter
翻譯過來的意思是:
良好寫作的秘訣就是把每個句子剝到最精簡的程度。每一個沒有實(shí)際作用的詞,每一個可被簡化的詞, 每一個贅述動詞所含意義的副詞, 每一個弄得讀者疑惑“誰在做什么”的被動結(jié)構(gòu)…… 這些就是削弱句子力量的“一千零一個”累贅。
下面是一個去除冗余的例子:
這段內(nèi)容包含了大量的重復(fù),比如successful和solution,其中solution一定是successful的,challenge和difficulties本質(zhì)上是同義詞。
修改之后:
第二個例子:
刪去冗余之后變?yōu)?#xff1a;
第三個例子:
養(yǎng)成刪去廢話的習(xí)慣,需要同時保持謹(jǐn)慎和殘忍。刪自己的話是很難,因?yàn)槟慊撕芏嗑θ戇@些,寫它們的時候磕磕跘跘的,你會覺得把這些話刪去你的努力就白費(fèi)了,而且這些話可能是你在腦子中過了好多遍才變得比較好聽 ,你會覺得就這樣是最好的,而你現(xiàn)在要做的就是改掉這種惰性和自我滿足感,你需要激勵自己去回過頭來看看那些句子,刪去廢話,試著刪除多余的詞,再重讀整個句子看是否變得更好,感受它是如何更強(qiáng)力地傳遞同樣地思想 。
第四個例子:
下面是一些常見的冗余來源:
Dead weight words and phrases:
- As it is well known
- As it has been known
- It can be regarded that
- It should be emphasized that
empty words and phrases:
- basic tents of
- methodologic
- important
long words or phrases that could be short:
- muscular and cardinorespiratory performance 可以改為 fitness
unnecessary jargon and acronyms:
- muscular and cardinorespiratory performance
- gliomagenesis
- miR
repetitive words or phrases:
- studies/examples
- illustrate/demonstrate
- challenges/difficulties
- successful solutions
adverbs:
- very, really, quite, basically, generally, etc.
添加副詞并不能讓你的觀點(diǎn)或者陳述更具有說服力。
一些可以簡化的示例,這些短語并不能直接表達(dá)意思,但會降低閱讀速度,因此可以替換:
| A majority of | most |
| A number of | many |
| Are of the same opinion | agree |
| less frequently occurring | rare |
| All three of the | the three |
| Give rise to | cause |
| Due to the fact that | because |
| Have an effect on | affect |
| based on the assumption | if |
| not honest | dishonest |
| not harmful | safe |
| not important | unimportant |
| does not have | lacks |
| did not remember | forgot |
| did not pay attention to | ignored |
| did not succeed | failed |
一些例子:
學(xué)習(xí)該課程的大多數(shù)都已經(jīng)學(xué)習(xí)過高中或者大學(xué)課程,很多課程作業(yè)要求寫報告或者論文,但你可能沒有近十頁的觀點(diǎn),所以你開始學(xué)會用很多辭藻堆積來填充你的寫作的壞習(xí)慣。現(xiàn)在我想讓你改掉這個習(xí)慣并學(xué)會刪除你寫作中一切不必要的東西。當(dāng)你用最簡明的詞語表達(dá)你的想法時,你的寫作更具可讀性、吸引力和說服力。
1.5: Cut the clutter, more tricks
消去否定形式,變?yōu)榭隙ň?#xff0c;會讓句意更加清楚。例如:
| she was not often right. | she was usually wrong. |
| she did not want to perform the experiment incorrectly. | she wanted to perform the experiment correctly. |
| they did not believe the drug was harmful. | they believed the drug was safe. |
| not honest | dishonest |
| not harmful | safe |
| not important | unimportant |
| does not have | lacks |
| did not remember | forgot |
| did not pay attention to | ignored |
| did not succeed | failed |
消去 there are/there is
| there are many ways in which we can arrange the pulleys. | we can arrange the pulleys in many ways. |
| there was a long line of bacteria on the plate. | bacteria lined the plate. |
| there many physicists who like to write. | many physicists like to write. |
| the data confirm that there is an association between vegetables and cancer. | the data confirm an association between vegetables and cancer. |
消去不必要的介詞
| the meeting happened on Monday. | the meeting happened Monday. |
| the agreed that it was true. | the agreed it was true. |
1.6: Practicing cutting clutter
Anti-inflammatory drugs may be protective for the occurrence of Alzheimer’s Disease.
–> Anti-inflammatory drugs protect against Alzheimer’s Disease.
Clinical seizures have been estimated to occur in 0.5% to 2.3% of the neonatal population.
–> Clinical seizures occur in 0.5% to 2.3% of newborns.
Ultimately p53 guards not only against malignant transformation but also plays a role in developmental processes as diverse as aging, differentiation, and fertility.
–> Besides preventing cancerm p53 also plays roles in aging, differentiation, and fertility.
Injuries to the brain and spinal cord have long been known to be among the most devastating and expensive of all injuries to treat medically.
–> Injuries to the brain and spinal cord are among the most devastating and expensive.
An IQ test measures an individual’s abilities to perform functions that usually fall in the domains of verbal communication, reasoning, and performance on tasks that represent motor and spatial capabilities.
–> An IQ test measures an individual’s verbal, reasoning, or motor and spatial abilities.
As we can see from Figure 2, if the return kinetic energy is less than 3.2 Up, there will be two electron trajectories associated with this kinetic energy.
–> Figure 2 shows that a return kinetic energy less than 3.2 up yields two electron trajectories.
Unit 2
2.1: Use the active voice
本小節(jié)討論主動語態(tài),即動詞寫作,將名詞改為動詞。一些例子:
| the ball is thrown by her. | she throws the ball. |
| the car will be driven by martha. | marthe will drive the car. |
| the president made mistakes. | mistakes were made by the president. |
被動動詞的組成:be動詞形式(am, is, are, was, were, be, been) + 動詞的過去形式 +賓語
be動詞也有可能是:could be, shall be, should be, will, would be, may be, might be, must be, has been
被動語態(tài)到主動語態(tài)轉(zhuǎn)換的關(guān)鍵是弄清楚“誰干了什么”,一些例子:
| My first visit to Boston will always be remembered by me. | I will always remember my first visit to Boston. |
| Cigatette ads were designed to appeal especially to children. | We designed the cigarette ads to appeal especially to children. |
主動語態(tài)的優(yōu)勢:
- 強(qiáng)調(diào)作者的責(zé)任
- 提高可讀性
- 減少歧義
分別的例子:
在論文寫作過程中,并非不能使用被動語態(tài),而是要注意使用的地方和充分的理由。一般來說,習(xí)慣在論文的方法部分(做了什么)使用被動語態(tài),因?yàn)閯釉~的接受者比誰做了更重要。所以被動語態(tài)在這里使用更合理,因?yàn)樗鼜?qiáng)調(diào)了已經(jīng)完成的部分。因此建議使用主動語態(tài)寫介紹,結(jié)果和討論部分,使用被動語態(tài)寫方法部分。
2.2: Is it really OK to use “We” and “I”
在論文寫作中可以使用 We,I 等人稱代詞。一些原因如下:
- 為了使主動語態(tài)的句子更生動和容易閱讀,必須使用人稱代詞。
- 避免使用人稱代詞并不會使得論文更加科學(xué)和客觀。
- 當(dāng)你的名字出現(xiàn)在論文署名時,就應(yīng)該對其內(nèi)容承擔(dān)責(zé)任。所以應(yīng)該積極地使用人稱代詞,來對文章內(nèi)容負(fù)責(zé)。
- 有些期刊的指南中會明確提倡使用主動語態(tài)寫作,因?yàn)檫@是容易閱讀的。
2.3: Active voice practice
| A recommendation was made by the DSMB committee that the study be halted. | The DSMB committee recommended that the study be halted. |
| Major differences in the reaction times of the two study subjects were found. | The two study subjects differed in the reaction. |
| It was concluded by the editors that the data had been falsified by the authors. | The editors concluded that the authors falsified their data. |
| The first visible-light snapshot of a planet circling another star has been taken by NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope. | NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope has taken the first visible-light snapshot of a planet circling another star. |
| Therefore, the hypothesis that the overall kinetics of a double transtibial amputee athlete and an able-bodied sprinter at the same level of performance are not different was rejected. | Therefore, we rejected the hypothesis that the overall kinetics of a double transtibial amputee athlete and an able-bodied sprinter at the same level of performance are comparable. |
2.4: Write with verbs
2.5: Practice examples
| The fear expressed by some teachers that students would not learn statistics well if they were permitted to use canned computer programs has not been realized in our experience. A careful monitoring of achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in the teaching of our course revealed no appreciable change in students’ performances. | Many teachers feared that the use of canned computer programs would prevent students form learning statistics. We monitored student achievement levels before and after the introduction of computers in our course and found no detriments in perforance. |
| Review of each center’s progress in recruitment is important to ensure that the cost involved in maintaining each center’s participation is worthwhile. | We should review each center’s recruitment progress to make sure its continued participation is cost-effective. |
| It should be emphasized that these proportions generally are not the result of significant increases in moderate and severe injuries, but in many instances reflect mildly injured persons not being seen at a hospital. | Shifting proportions in injury severity may reflect stricter hospital admission criteria rather than true increases in moderate and severe injuries. |
| Important studies to examine the descriptive epidemiology of autism, including the prevalence and changes in the characteristics of the population over time, have begun. | Studies have begun to describe the epidemiology of autism, including recent changes in the disorder’s prevalence and characteristics. |
| There are multiple other mechanisms that are important, but most of them are suspected to only have a small impact or are only important because of impact on one of the three primary mechanisms. | Multipe other mechanisms play only a small role or work by impacting one of the three primary mechenisms. |
| After rejecting paths with poor signal-to-noise ratios, we were left with 678 velocity mesurements of waves with 7.5 seconds period and 891 mesurements of 15 second waves. | Rejecting paths with poor signal-to-noise ratios left 678 velocity measurements of 7.5-second waves and 891 of 15-second waves. |
| It is suspected that the importance of temperature has more to do with impacting rates of other reactions than being amechanism of disinfection itself since ponds are rarely hot enough for temperature alone to cause disinfection. | Ponds are rarely hot enough for temperature alone to cause disinfection; thus, the effect of temperature is likely mediated through its impact on the rates of other reactions. |
2.6: A few grammar tips
單詞 data 是復(fù)數(shù)形式。例如:The data are crucial.
Affect vs Effect
Compared to vs Compared with
That vs which
Unit 3
3.1: Experiment with punctuation
一些在寫作中可能會忽略的關(guān)鍵的標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號:破折號(dash),冒號(colon),分號(semicolon),括號(parenthesis)。合理地使用這些標(biāo)點(diǎn)符合可以幫助你寫出生動的長難句。
標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號的分隔能力(從逗號到句號遞增):
- 逗號(comma)
- 冒號(colon)
- 破折號(dash)
- 括號(parentheses):
- 分號(semicolon):用于連接兩個獨(dú)立的從句,基本上是兩個小句子,有獨(dú)立的主謂語,表達(dá)完整的思想。
- 句號(period)
標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號的正式性:
- 破折號(dash)
- 括號(parentheses)
- others(comma,colon,semicolon,period)
3.2: Practice, colon and dash
Evidence-based medicine teaches clinicians the practical application of clinical epidemiology, as needed to address specific problems of specific patients. It guides clinicians on how to find the best evidence relevant to a specific problem, how to assess the quality of that evidence, and perhaps most difficult, how to decide if the evidence applies to a specific patient.
修改后:
Evidence-based medicine teaches clinicians how to find the best evidence relevant to a specific problem, how to assess the quality of that evidence, and how to decide if the evidence applies to a specific patient.
Finally, the lessons of clinical epidemiology are not meant to be limited to academic physician-epidemiologists, who sometimes have more interest in analyzing data than caring for patients. Clinical epidemiology holds the promise of providing clinicians with the tools necessary to improve the outcomes of their patients.
修改后:
Finally, clinical epidemiology is not limited to acdemic pgysician-epidemiologists_who are sometime more interested in anlyzing data than caring for patients_but provides clinicians with the tools to improve theri patients’ outcomes.
3.3: Parallelism
本小節(jié)討論以并行結(jié)構(gòu)編寫句子。
由 and,or,but 連接的 成對的想法 應(yīng)該以平行的形式書寫。這意味連接的部分必須遵循相同的語法結(jié)構(gòu)。例如:
例子1:
Locusts denuded fields in Utah, rural Iowa was washed away by torrents, and in Arizona the cotton was shriveled by the placing heat.
修改后:
Lucusts denuded fields in Utah, torrents washed away rural Iowa, and blazing heat shriveled Arizona’s cotton.
例子2:
If you want to be a good doctor, you must study hard, critically think about the medical literature, and you should be a good listener.
修改后:
If you want to be a good doctor you must study hard, listen well, and think critically about the medical literature. (imperative, imperative, imperative)
例子3:
| This research follows four distinct phases: (1) establishing measurement instruments (2) pattern measurement (3) developing interventions and (4) the dissemination of successful interventions to other settings and institutions. |
| After |
| This research follows four distinct phases: (1) establishing measurement instruments (2) measuring patterns (3) developing interventions and (4) disseminating successful interventions to other settings and institutions. |
3.4: Paragraphs
盡早提出結(jié)論或主旨句(punch line),然后再進(jìn)行闡述。通常,科研人員喜歡堆砌數(shù)據(jù),細(xì)節(jié),支持?jǐn)?shù)據(jù),最后得出結(jié)論,這在論文寫作中需要避免。因?yàn)楫?dāng)讀者不清楚重點(diǎn)結(jié)論的時候,很難把細(xì)節(jié)理清楚。
段落過度的技巧:
- logical flow of ideas
- 按照時間順序
- 從 general 到 specific
- logical arguments
- parallel sentence structures
- if necessary,transition words。建議常用兩個就可以:BUT用于模式切換;AND表明正在補(bǔ)充一些額外信息。
讀者往往對段落的第一句和最后一句記憶深刻。所以最好在段尾進(jìn)行強(qiáng)調(diào)。
兩個過渡流暢的示例:
3.5: Paragraph Editing I
原文:221詞。
Most scents remain constant in their quality over orders of magnitude of concentration (12). Nevertheless, at high concentrations, quality tends to be negatively correlated with intensity, as was the case, for example, for the cinnamon oil used in this study. Hence, reliability of absolute scorings was achieved by calibrating the amount of perfume ingredients with initial ratings for intensity against a reference substance of known concentration. The final concentrations were in principal chosen in a way such that individual ratings showed variance among participants within the sliding scale between 0 and 10 (meaning that people could decide whether they liked a scent or not). This procedure seemed successful for most scents; however, the concentrations for bergamot (highest average ratings) and vetiver (lowest average rating) could probably been reduced even more, as both scents did not show any discriminating power at the level of common alleles (people agreed largely on the quality of these two scents) (see Table 2). Interestingly, the pooled rare alleles showed discriminating power for…
段落大綱:梳理該段內(nèi)容要傳達(dá)的思想
修改1:91詞。
Although the methodological approaches are similar, the questions posed in classic epidemiology and clinical epidemiology are different. In classic epidemiology, epidemiologists pose a question about the etiology of a disease in a population of people. Causal associations are important to identify because, if the causal factor identified can be manipulated or modified, prevention of disease is possible. On the other hand, in clinical epidemiology, clinicians pose a question about the prognosis of a disease in a population of patients. Prognosis can be regarded as a set of outcomes and their associated probabilities following the occurrence of some defining event or diagnosis that can be a symptom, sign, test result or disease.
大綱:
修改:
3.6: Paragraph Editing II
原文:177詞。(使用序號進(jìn)行拆分)
以上七句話對應(yīng)的大綱:
將實(shí)際上在講同一件事的句子放在一起:
修改之后:87個詞。
修改過程:
原文:139個詞。(使用序號進(jìn)行拆分)
以上八句話對應(yīng)的大綱:
去冗余:
修改之后:76個詞。
修改過程:
3.7: A few more tips
當(dāng)你費(fèi)盡心思去查找同義詞來避免一個單詞在段落中重復(fù)出現(xiàn)時,先思考以下問題:
- 第二次出現(xiàn)的單詞所在句子是否真的必不可少?
- 如果真的必不可少,那么一個同義詞真的要比重復(fù)使用一個單詞要好得多嗎?
關(guān)于名稱的縮略詞,應(yīng)該注意以下幾點(diǎn):
- 使用標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的縮略詞,不要自己創(chuàng)造
- 如果必須要使用縮略詞,確保在摘要,每個圖表,以及文本中已經(jīng)定義了它們。
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